the changing of the seasons

i have been very distracted and lazy over these past several weeks, that's why i haven't written my blog. i know if i'm going to committ to do this, i have to stay on top of it. so...let's start with the obvious, the cold air is here and i'm enjoying every minute of it. this time of year always always puts a smile on my face. mainly because i don't have to worry about sweating to death anymore and my clothes sticking to me. the funny thing is i was actually born at the beginning of summer many years ago, and when i was younger i really enjoyed the summer time--i guess that was because of the vacation away from school. now that i've gotten older i can't wait for it to be over, so that the cold air can come on through and do what it do. the irony of me loving all of this cold air is that i love to be all bundled up and nice and warm, and in the house with the heat on...not blasting though.

now, i can't really say that my laziness contributed to the reason that i've haven't written in a while...it's mostly been all distraction. i've been concentrating on getting a really important goal of mine accomplished these past several weeks. i can't tell you what it is exactly until all is said and done. i will say that it has to do with my finances and i took such a giant leap forward out of the red that it ain't even funny...i'm still in the red though, but not as bad as i was once this goes through. i can't even begin to tell you how hard i worked over the summer on this and the anticipation of it coming to fruition--it's nothing short of amazing. the timing of it was pefect too...i just went in for an interview for low-income housing for a building that's litterly being constructed a few blocks away from me in my neighborhood. they turned me down saying that i make too much money to meet the guidelines for qualification. i won't go into the whole back story and how long they kept me waiting in that lobby just to tell me that i make too much money. needlessly to say i was heated walking out that office building. when i checked my email account later that night to see if i had any emails, i got the message to make that long awaited phone call to get the answer i've been waiting all summer long for. i called the next day and got the answer i've been praying so hard for. i cannot begin to tell you how good God is!

i have to back up a bit and tell you what actually happened earlier in september during new york fashion week. okay, here's a bit of the back story--i was fired last february from the backstage management company that i worked the past 6 years for. i got hired by another company that is run by the same lady that hired me 6 years ago to work for the other company. she left the company officially last season too, and decided to start her own company. child, it was a bunch of mess--between the both of us depending on who you speak to from the other company. i will honestly say that i thought that she would have a good amount of shows to work; however, that was not the case. when i got my show assignments...i only got two shows. i was disappointed to tell you the truth, but i also knew that i couldn't be. she's just starting her company and of course there's a lot of competition out there that she now has to compete with. i just allowed myself to believe for a short minute or two that i would have a good number of shows. then i realized that she's starting out and would have to work her way up to a good number of shows again--i know she can do it though.

i always take a vacation during new york fashion week for the fall/winter and spring/summer seasons, and it seems the time i was gone from work--THE SHIT HIT THE FAN HONEY! leading up to my vacation, i had that feeling that you always get when you just want it to come and just get here. this time this feeling was really intense...i almost can't describe it, but it felt like to me that something was about to happen and i knew i had to get away. i'm so happy that i was on vacation and didn't see anything go down, but let me tell you i heard about it. on the one hand i'm happy that i wasn't here, but on the other hand i wish i was able to see it go down. now, i know that's not right to want to see the "greasiness" of it all, but DAMN can't i live a little. after all was said and done, i was really sad because it involved a person i cared a great deal for...and i didn't want to see that happen.

while i was on vacation--the worst possible...excuse me, one of the worst possible things that could've happened happened. MY TELEVISION DIED ON ME! i woke up that morning and watched a little bit of television and everything seemed to be okay. i turned it off because i had to go into the city to pick up and deposit my paycheck and do a little grocery shopping on my way home. everything was going according to plan, and i even stopped at the corner store to get a sub and some snacks before i went into the house. Housewives of Atlanta was getting ready to come on and i made it back home in time to set every thing up. my sandwich was nice and hot, my soda was ice cold, and when i went to turn on the television...it was dead. i like to fall the fuck out right there in front of it. my television has been with me for the past 10 years, and it has been with me through so much. through all the ups and downs, twists and turns...i could always count on my television. if that wasn't enough, my telephone service was interrupted and the cable got turned off...again. in the past, i always rushed to get my cable turned back on--this time i decided to give my phone the attention it deserved. when i got my paycheck that thursday, i went out and got my phone turned back on. i always give love to the cable, but i have my internet through my phone (DSL) and it's a bitch to set back up if your phone has been disconnected for a while...and, it wouldn't have made much sense to pay the cable bill without a television to watch it on. so, since the beginning of september up to now i've been without a television. my saving grace has been my laptop, at least with it i can watch things on the internet and watch my dvds. i'll get another television soon, when i save up enough money and my cable will be turned back on again soon too. right now money is a little more tighter than it has been, but i know and have faith that it will get better.

these past 10 months have tested my endurance and faith like nobody's business. i've been through a lot in my life and "they" always say that God never gives you more than you can handle. i don't know what i'm being prepared for, but i'll tell you this...i will be so happy when i won't have to struggle like this anymore. i guess it all boils down to the journey that we all have been destined to take during our lives. have i reached the promise land, no--will i ever? who knows, all i know is that i have to keep my eyes fixed on my objectives and be open to the opportunities that come my way. i'll keep you posted, God bless.