what a gift i've been given

last saturday i started writing this blog and immediately stopped writing it, because i received word that a former co-worker and friend of mine had passed away earlier in the day. the first two blogs i posted seemed to me at least to be very serious, and to tell you the truth there are many lighter happier moments in my life that need to be talked about and celebrated as well--now is one of those times.

i have been blessed many times over in my life and i strongly believe that God guided my steps toward to each and every individual i've encountered throughout my 32 years on this earth. there have been many people that i've encountered that i wish i never did, and there have been many wonderful people that came into my life and gave me so much joy i can't even begin to tell you. as i have gotten older, i realized that there was a lesson to be learned in every one of those situations. i've learned a lot, because another lesson i learned the hard way was that if i wasn't paying attention to the lesson that was being taught...it constantly repeated itself time and time again, and would present itself in another individual every time it occurred. to tell you the truth, i think i got it now. should the same situation arise again to see if i can handle it like the grown ass man that i am, i'm confident i'll pass the test.

one thing i have loved from an early age and even more so now that i'm older are cartoons. i'm an avid cartoon watcher, and you'd be surprised as to what lessons a child and even an adult can learn while watching cartoons. this one cartoon i like to watch is 'Danny Phantom', it comes on the Nicktoons Network. i was watching a particular episode where the main character Danny Fenton (aka Danny Phantom) had become a super villian that wreaked havoc over the entire world in the future. there were these time traveling beings that witnessed the destruction he caused. so they went to a 'father time' figure and tried to get him to go back in time to prevent Danny from ever becoming 'Danny Phantom'. needlessly to say he didn't grant there request, instead he traveled back in the past and warned Danny of the event that was going to happen and sent him on the quest to stop it from happening. so, Danny along with his friends Tucker and Samantha travel back in time to stop the catastrophic event from taken place that put him on the path to become a super villian. i believe this was a special hour episode, and unfortunately through all of his efforts Danny could not stop the event from taken place. however, at the last minute the father time figure appears out of no where and rewinds time and stops the event from happening. this is where the lesson kicks in, after saving Danny, his family, and his friends the father time figure talks with him. he says to him that life is like a parade and that we (the individual) cannot see where the parade will go before coming to an end, but he (father time) has a perfect view from above and has the power and ability to see the parade from all sides and the many routes it can take before coming to an end. while this character was talking, i thought to myself...that's God! that's what the Lord does, he can see the many routes that are laid out for us and depending on the decisions we make during the course of the parade (our life) it will determine the direction the parade take before it comes to an end...and they say television is bad for you.

i for one, don't know the course my life may take--i just know that i have to see it through to the end. from dealing with the loss of my friend this past week, and not to mention the lives lost since the beginning of summer...it just reminds me, i'm still here. i have fought tooth and nail to make it this far, and i have worked damn hard not to let it all be in vain. like i stated in my last blog, God didn't create me and bring me this far just to leave me. i'm a blessed individual and i will continue to always walk with my head held high and just be light. i cannot let myself be weighed down by the bullshit that will pop up every now and again. one thing i've realized this summer is that life is too short and way too precious to let slip away. i honestly have a lot to make up for. i feel stupid for wasting all my time and energy constantly giving power to people and situations that don't warrant my attention at all. there is a quote on my wall that says: some people walk in the rain, others just get wet--THAT'S THE FUCK IT! sophia home now! i'll keep you posted, God bless.